Lately I have found myself struggling with disappointment the day after a spanking. I wanted to feel the soreness, see the marks and bruises, and have difficulty sitting. I wanted that reminder of him and his love, to feel the commitment we made to each other, the reassurance that all was forgiven. The soreness reminds me who I belong too and how he expects me to behave... it also serves as a reminder that I let him down but he loves me anyway.
I wasn't craving a spanking so to speak, but I craved the after effects. So, I decided to look online and find a new implement for him to use. A few friends had said to get a strap, one even said she LOVED the strap. So we narrowed it down, he made the selection and I placed the order.
Terror is just plain harsh. Two words describe it: 1) pain, and 2) agony. It's
such a brutal instrument that we recommend only experienced Spankos and those
with a high pain tolerance use it. (If you have an iron bottom, consider this
the strap/paddle for you.) It HURTS."
That was the description to the leather strap that was delivered to my house this week.
This is what it looks like...
Why I thought this was a good item to order I honestly have no idea... of course there were a few light swings when it was opened, just to try it out. The light swings HURT!!! I knew then that my plan was for that thing to stay in the drawer next to the oar and Luke (also dreaded implements I want no part of).
Well then Sunday came. Sunday was a bad day, a frustrating day. The day I decided I was going to be completely disrespectful, hang up on him, and not apologize. The day we talked about missed sirs, speeding, and attitude. The day that I decided to tell him I needed more follow through...the day I completely forgot about that thick, leather strap hiding in the drawer.
The spoon made an appearance as well (mmhmm, that dreaded spoon).
Each and every lick strategically placed by the man I had just told I needed more follow through. He stopped halfway, grabbed my chin, and forced me to make eye contact with him while he gently but sternly told me what he expected. He then motioned for me to get back in position for round 2. After 50 with the spoon I lost count but I know it was around 65 licks with that dang strap. After he had finished, I thanked him... and I genuinely meant it with all that I am. He kissed me on my forehead, we said our good nights, and I fell asleep in his arms. Good, peaceful, guilt free sleep...
His text message this morning said, "I know when I touched your butt this morning you jumped. Made me feel like I had done something. Lol"
He definitely did something, something much more than just spanking his wife...he restored order and harmony to our home and removed all the negative and doubting thoughts from inside my head.
Today, I am sore, I am bruised, I am peaceful, I am happy, I am forgiven, and I know without a doubt that I am loved!